Bullying can be:
Verbal: name-calling, threatening, teasing, taunting.
Physical: hitting, taking or damaging possessions, making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do, pushing and shoving.
Emotional: spreading rumors, ignoring or excluding others, making someone uncomfortable or scared.
Both boys and girls can bully, although most bullying is done by boys. Boys usually prefer physical aggression. Girls tend to favor verbal and emotional intimidation or humiliation as bullying tools.
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED
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Take whatever your child says seriously and find out exactly what has been going on. |
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Don't promise to keep the bullying a secret but reassure your child that you will help to sort out the problem. |
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Reassure your child that it is not their fault. |
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Report the bullying to school personnel immediately. Informing school staff is important in creating a safe school environment. |
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Do not rush in to solve the problem for your child. Children become victims because they lack the skills to stop the bullying on their own, so rushing in to help may make your child feel more inadequate. |
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Practice assertiveness techniques with your child. |
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Try to minimize opportunities for bullying. |
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Encourage them to talk to an adult at the school. |
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Encourage your child to socialize and make friends at school. The most severe bullying is directed at loners. Children with good social skills and a network of friends tend not to be bullied. |
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS A BULLY
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Try not to become angry and defensive. Try and stay calm. |
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Model, teach and encourage positive social skills such as anger management, problem solving and empathy. |
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Provide as much parental or adult supervision as possible. |
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Provide physical outlets and alternatives. |
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Create opportunities for your child to learn constructive ways of being in charge and in control. |
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Talk to school staff, |
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS A BYSTANDER
Bystanders are the third group of players in this situation. They are the supporters who aid the bully through acts of omission and commission. They stand idly by or look away, they actively encourage the bully, or join in.
Encourage your child not to be a bystander when someone else is being bullied.
Suggest that they can:
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defend the target of bullying publicly. |
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support the victim privately |
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report the incident themselves |
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get other bystanders to confront the bully as a group |
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be a friend. Include the target of bullying in their activities. |
Remind them to always consider their safety when figuring out how to respond to a bully.
Standing up for what's right in such a situation builds empathy and increases a child's sense of responsibility. Explain that there is safely in numbers, that when a majority of kids stand up to support a victim of bullying, they help to create a safe and caring school environment.
